I came from a very religious catholic family  my cousin a catholic priest, another a nun, another a seminarian, another a charismatic leader. and me a block rosary president and devote catholic.

I think my journey to atheism started when I met some of them on facebook, I felt absolute pity for them because I thought they were all going to hell. The first thing I said to them was “I pity u atheist in this group” (They were mostly American though). Until I got to know them better then I realised they were good guys and not bad as the bible depicts them to be. Then I asked myself why did Jesus say “Those who don’t believe in me shall not have eternal life”. I then began to doubt some of Jesus message.

Being a catholic, I learnt about their killings in the past but I tried to overlook it but I could not. Why would the pope (who we were taught was Jesus rep here on earth order killing of women and kids?). Also I developed great devotion to the Blessed Mary and I made sure I prayed 20 decades of the rosary daily (catholics know how long this is) and I also constantly wore my scapular of mt Carmel because we were taught those who die wearing the scapular can’t go to hell. I also became a block rosary president and hoped one day to be a catholic priest. I was so vested in the catholic faith and belief that people thought I was a seminarian.

But after some time, I could not overlook the killings in the bible and church history. It just did not make sense. If God was love why allow so much killing, why be oblivious about certain thing eg thinking that if some dudes build a tower till it reach d sky; they might find him, causing pharoah to sin just to punish him, etc. It did not sum up. So I called myself a religious skeptic and I still believed in a God. Until I began to ponder more, I saw so much errors than I expected.How could a cause that claims to be good like religion cause so much suffering, discrimination, and disaster Then I migrated to being a deist but now an agnostic atheist.

written by valentine mario oragbakosi


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